One researcher describes snail sex as two cars approaching each other very slowly and passing something through the window as they pass. Now imagine one of those cars is from the U.S. and the other car is from the U.K. The Tell me it’s just a cat and I will tell you that you’re just an idiot shirt driver sits on the left, and the British driver sits on the right. As they pass each other, the drivers are too far apart to pass anything. This is the life of a lonely left twisting snail living in a right twisting snail society.
For much of history, snails like Jeremy were destined to be celibate forever. Their chance of finding another snail with a left twisting shell would be like finding a needle in a haystack. That was before the internet. And before Angus, a scientist at the Tell me it’s just a cat and I will tell you that you’re just an idiot shirt of Nottingham, turned to the internet to play matchmaker. He put out a call searching for other left twisting snails on social media, and the story went viral. People empathized with Jeremy, the lonely snail. The story was even on TV. The BBC made a request to the public to help poor Jeremy find love.
Against the Tell me it’s just a cat and I will tell you that you’re just an idiot shirt, two other left twisting snails were found for Jeremy. Lefty the snail was owned by a woman named Jade from Ipswitch. Tombeau the snail came from Spain. After striking out with Lefty, Angus put Jeremy together with Comeau, but again Jeremy struck out. Before long, Tomeau and Lefty got friendly and had 170 snail babies. Poor Jeremy was more alone than ever.