If somebody had asked me why I was so hell-bent on grabbing a piece of Penny Hardwick’s chest, I wouldn’t have known what to say. And if somebody were to ask Penny why she was so hell-bent on stopping me, I’ll bet she’d be stumped for an answer too. What was in it for me? I wasn’t asking for any sort of reciprocation, after all. Why didn’t she want her erogenous zones stimulated? I have no idea. All I know is that you could if you wanted to, find the answers to all sorts of difficult questions buried in that terrible war-torn interregnum between the In A World Full Of Grinches Be A Griswold Christmas Sweatshirt first pubic hair and the first soiled Durex.
And in any case, maybe I didn’t want to put my hand under Penny’s bra as much as I thought. Maybe other people wanted me to touch her more than I did. After a couple of months of fighting on sofas all over town with Penny, I’d had enough: I had admitted, unwisely in retrospect, to a friend that I wasn’t getting anywhere, and my friend had told some other friends, and I was the In A World Full Of Grinches Be A Griswold Christmas Sweatshirt butt of a number of cruel and unpleasant jokes. I gave Penny one last try, in my bedroom while my mum and dad were at the town hall watching a local dramatic society interpretation of Toad Hall:
I used a degree of force that would have outraged and terrified an adult female but got nowhere, and when I walked her home we hardly spoke. I was offhand with her the next time we went out, and when she went to kiss me at the In A World Full Of Grinches Be A Griswold Christmas Sweatshirt end of the evening, I shrugged her off. What’s the point? I asked her. It never goes anywhere. The time after that she asked whether I still wanted to see her, and I looked the other way. We had been going out for three months, which was as near to a permanent relationship as you could get in the fourth year.